A Sack Full Of Nothing

For every good gift I receive, I seem to get three completely useless presents that only clutter my room until I find a way of getting rid of it or hiding it. Thanks to every one for trying, but in my books buying a gift for someone because they’re “on your list” is just demented. I appreciate the effort, but if it’s all the same, we might just call it quits for next year. That includes birthdays as well, but I’ve long had that policy for my birthday.

Some of the highlights include a pair of ugly brown shoes that I’ll never find an opportunity to wear, after specifically requesting black formal shoes after the last pair were damaged in the great storm walk of Nov ‘07. The pair I received are those huge bulky, puffed-up shoes with suede on them that look like you’ve inverted two cows and are wearing them on your feet. I also received book by an author I haven’t read since I was twelve, and even then I only read one and a half of his books and eBayed them a few years ago. I received a bottle of Eau de Toilette that smells like a hotel shampoo, and a box of coffee flavoured chocolates - my most hated flavour.

The ultimate in gift crappery this year goes to my brother, after I bought him a DVD he wanted together with a hefty Amazon gift voucher. In previous years he’s done well giving me tickets to a show I really wanted to see but this year I scored a USB Exercising Mouse. This one I’m actually insist goes back. Not only is it hideous and stupid, but it’s PC-compatible only. I don’t care if I don’t get anything in return, but the burden should be on him to dispose of this thing.

In spite of the tone of this, I really did have a lovely Christmas and am in no way begrudging those who bought me the above gifts. It’s just a simple of matter of given the choice between receiving these gifts or nothing, I’d rather nothing. After all, excessive spending only boosts inflationary pressures, so next season, give me the gift of lower interest rates: Nothing!