Opening weekend went smoothly. I sort of missed not going in to the theatre this morning after I woke up. When I had exams and rehearsals it was stressful, now it’s a lot more relaxed and I’m thoroughly enjoying performing the shows.

I’ve thrown a few photos I took backstage during last night’s performance onto the relevant flickr set, including the shot above, slightly more than a typo in the local paper. It’s a bit of a joke backstage now as I am called Chiara. I did promptly inform Chiara that I was changing my name to hers to gain the most publicity. Oh well, worse things have been printed about me (and as Chae aptly noted, most of them right here).

Opening night went pretty well. Surprisingly, I wasn’t too nervous, but I think that has something to do with the fact that I ease into the show; my first difficult scene (The Accompanist) is after a few easy ones. Don’t Bug Me, originally my least enjoyable song is now the highlight of the show for me, and I feel it’s when I get really comfortable.

We had a few surprise guest members including Phillip and a bunch of his friends. This morning I am off to do a radio plug for the show, then a matinee performance which I expect will be quiet, but tonight Becky and the crew are coming to see the show which will be exciting. Becky is down from Brisbane for just a few days and luckily it coincides with the show. Lucky for whom!

It was interesting to note the ‘leading player syndrome’ at play yet again, something I learnt about many years ago when I filled in for a lead role opening night due to illness then went back to my chorus role for the rest of the shows. It seems when you’re the leading character everyone wants to speak to you and congratulate you (even calling you by your character name), but when you’re a chorus member, no one cares. I did receive some very nice comments from all sorts of people I had never met before, and we were mostly smart enough to go home after the show and rest (particularly since I had been going since 6.15 that morning), before another two shows today.

I had a slight scare tonight when the lecturer of my final exam tomorrow emailed me to say “I can’t find your marks, you’ve withdrawn, right?” followed by me spontaneously dismantling like an expired crash test dummy. I sent her an email reminding her that, after a particularly bad and frustrating group project experience, I thought I would put my money where my mouth was (or something) and just not do the assignment forfeiting those marks. It sounded like a good idea at the time. In fact, it still sounds like a good idea. Anyway, the matter was settled and she agreed to continue to let me try to pass tomorrow. Actually, the fact of the matter is that my grades even without that large assignment are good enough that if I pass the exam (which I believe is essential), then I’ll pass the subject.

I’ll be so relieved come 14 or so hours when exams will be behind me for another session and I can go back to worrying about more important things like what the hell I’m doing with my life and spending my days walking for one and a half hours to the shops and back because I feel like a cup of earl grey tea.

On the other hand, opening night of TLE is tomorrow, so I’ll have to put off such merriments for a few more days.

I was having a completely rational shower (as in rational thought, not rational food) when the horrifying thought dawned on me: What if I am actually suffering from a mental disease that prevents me from understanding the realities of my own actions but still allows me to view the rest of the world as normal?. What if everything I do is not actually what I do and the whole world is laughing behind my back but pretending I don’t have this disease to my face because my mother or someone told them they had to be nice to me.

The more I thought about it, the more likely it seemed. Does this explain why people are nice to me? Perhaps this is the reason I am so good at absolutely everything? Almost definitely, yes.

Then I considered why I had never heard of this disease. Surely it would be rare and I probably would have been on the television at some point. I doubt my parents could have hidden it from me considering they type web addresses into the google box and need help deciding which side of the CD to play. No, it had to be operating on some higher level. I have to be living in an institute.

An institute with debt problems, thus the frequent moving of house that I experience. Without a doubt, this would be broadcasted out to the world via hidden cameras behind every mirror and nook and cranny. Should I cover my bits in the shower? No, they’d do that for me digitally. I hope they use a black box with the white text saying “CENSORED” rather than the large pixels. I fear one day the technology will exist to reverse the large pixels process and suddenly half the world’s private parts will be available.

Then the temperature of the water in the shower changed and I was jolted back to the realities of the white tiles and blue bubbled geometric fish tile border that runs around the room. I realised, disease or not, that I have a fear of not being taken seriously and underachieving and that I probably should not study so hard and worry about what people think of me and get some sleep. After all, the whole world could be laughing behind my back.

Oh that’s right… I have a blog, don’t I.

It’s okay, I’ll just use my moving house excuse that I use for everything else. Actually, the move is over with now, and I’m settling in to the new place and still figuring out where the light switches are and the right amounts to turn the hot and cold taps in the shower (a lot of hot and barely nudge the cold, it seems).

The move was decently smooth. After an early start, almost everything was shifted by midday so we went to grab some lunch. It was during this time that I was reminded that I am not very tolerant of cucumber and I spent the next few hours groaning and breaking into sweats.

The theatre is also keeping me busy, having played for the kids musical, having had auditions for one show which starts rehearsals thursday and with TLE only a couple of weeks away from opening.

My greatest concern at the moment is that uni exams begin next week and I desperately have to pass (and thats all) if I’m to hang around and do my Dip Ed next year. We’ll see. I’d love to have 6 months off uni if I can pass everything this semester.