Access Denied

I hate you, Microsoft Orifice.

Particularly the deranged, three-headed, stump-legged, leprocy-carrying cousin hiding in the back: Microsoft Access.

Most people don’t know what it is. I do. It is awful. This piece of software perfectly embodies the entire Microsoft range of software products. It is without forethought and consideration of it’s users needs, it is unweildly and archaic, and possibly the most offensive of all is it is just horrendously ugly. I’m talking about the reports and forms that come out of this thing look like someone let an on-heat monkey loose on ClarisWorks 3 for a few hours. Fields run into each other, the whole thing is unbelievably cramped (except for the giant white spaces where the next record won’t fit), fonts clash and when used, grey shaded backgrounds make the whole thing impossible to read. And Impact? C’Mon, aren’t we over that by now?

I think I had just about had enough when I changed the properties of a field in a table to be “required” in all records of that table. I went into the table view to delete a record I knew had become corrupted when it translated between the previous version of Access and Access 2003. Everytime I tried to right click to delete the record, it gave me an error that it was missing required data, and forced me back into the record to fill out all the required fields before then just deleting it anyway.

I was up until 2 am last night working on that beast for uni and I still didn’t get it all completed (it is now), but I’ve learned my lesson. Give me ClarisWorks and I’ll be happy.